The end of an era

Today it is all starting to hit me. I am moving to Florida. I will have to pay money to see these friends here in Fort Wayne from now on! ....or they will have to pay money to see me...

Whoa.

For such a time as this

As I get ready to leave the profession I have studied about, worked out, cried during and laughed about, learned in, stressed over, grew because of, and loved for the last 10 years,....

I wonder.... did I make a difference?

I know that God puts us where he needs us for the time that he chooses. I believe that He placed me at my school for such a time as... as what I just finished.

I have to think....

Did I make Him smile with what I time I had here? Did I do my best? Did I make Him proud? Did I show His love to my students, my coworkers, my kids' parents and my bosses? Did I complain too much? Did I help to make His plans work or did He have to make a new one because I chose to follow my 'brilliant' idea....which most likely, ended up not being brilliant? Was I someone who made a difference? Was my time at school a blessing for others?

I sure hope so. I have learned so much. So much about myself, my God, how I am wired to do and what I am wired NOT to do. Ha! Ha! I am going to miss not working with my kiddos but maybe there is a new group of kids. For such a time....

The funny thing is that I NEVER thought I would leave teaching. I think others are surprised too! But I feel a peace about leaving. About changing professions. About the move. I always imagined myself one of those teachers that people talk about like... "She has been teaching for HOW MANY YEARS!? She is crazy!!!" You know the one who has 18 million books, reproducibles, posters from half a decade ago, and 43 million absoluetly hilarious stories. Yup. That's who I thought I would end up being. But apparently, God has bigger and better things. That's kind of exciting?!?! No?

I'm moving to Florida!

So... I have news. After much thinking, praying, talking, crying, smiling and preparation--- I have decided to move to Florida! It's kind of an amazing story of how this all happened. ...and still happening!

What?!?!?!

You want to hear the story?

Well.... twist my arm why don'tcha

...OUCH!!

OK! OK!!

Ha! Ha!

Are you comfy? Good.

So this story's beginning is a little fuzzy. I am not sure when exactly I began to want to move to Florida. It may have been when my sister, Amanda, moved down to her hubby's old stompin' ground. Yes, I believe that was it. When Curtis and Amanda moved to Florida, I think that is the first time moving out of Fort Wayne, Indiana seemed like a good idea.

I had moved to Fort Wayne, IN when I was in college. I went to Taylor University Fort Wayne and LOVED every minute! I made awesome friends, great memories and ultimately found a new place to live. Along with an awesome job, an amazing church and cool roommates... I found friends that became my family. The hardest thing about living in Fort Wayne that my nearest family member was over 3 hours away. I know, I know... you may be thinking that it was a blessing! And, granted... there were probably times when I was thankful family couldn't just pop in but... 99.9% of the time--- I missed them terribly.

Fast forward to this school year. I'm not gonna lie... this year has been the most difficult in my teaching career. I don't do well with change (as you noted on my previous post) and this year was full of it. New principal, new expectations, new changes I hadn't anticipated... It all seemed soooooo different. I wasn't on a 'team' at school because I was the only one doing what I was doing in the building so--- I couldn't bounce ideas off, have help finding lessons...you know collaborating like I had in the past. That was difficult for me. Then I found out, that our whole school was changing how they did things and that everyone was surplussed. (We had to reinterview for our jobs.) ACK!! Change again!!

Fast forward again, to about a month ago. I had been out with friends and celebrating a birthday when my sister calls and tells me that there is a possible job opening and would I consider it. Whoa! Hold your horses!!!! Me move to Florida?!?!? Uh... I gotta think and pray about that! ... so that is what I did.

I fasted and prayed (along with my awesome prayin' posse...see post below) and felt like God was opening the door for me to at least find out about this new change. I mean... everything was changing anyway so... why not find out about this new possibility?!?!

Over spring break I interviewed then accepted the position of Student Data Coordinator with A+ Tutor U. The job is working with tutors, getting reports completed and making sure deadlines are met. I won't be working with kids or teaching. I know... shocking!!! I will be working from home and setting my hours so that I can get my work done. I am excited about the job, lovin' the people I will be working with, pumped about living close to my family (ok.. specifically my sweet nephew Cai) and, surprise of all surprises... looking forward to the change.

I love and feel very peaceful about the decision I have made. But it will be soooo hard!! I have dear, dear friends that I will have to leave. I won't see them on a daily/weekly basis. It's true, we have facebook, twitter, email, Skype and all kinds of technology to keep us connected but ..... there is nothing like sitting on a couch laughing about Arrested Development or The Office, crying with each other as we share family heartaches, taking a 20 minute walk that ends up being 2 hours, floating on a raft in the middle of snake infested waters, making crazy home-made gifts to trade at Christmas, hiding from kids at camp.... you know those things that are irreplaceable and impossible to do connected to a computer.

I know I will make new memories and have new experiences. I will build on to the relationships that I have already started and form new ones. What an adventure this will be... what an adventure.

Who moved my cheese.... I mean changed my cheese?

Change. It's a curious thing, no?

I mean if you think about it, there really is so much meaning packed into those 6 letters.

It can mean that you have given someone money and they, in turn have given you less money back. ...ok....less money and a new pair of shoes but... less money is what we are focusing on. ...but I do love a new pair of kicks!

It can mean a new hairdo, a different look, a new you! Love that idea... speaking of hair...I have to call to my hairdresser!

It can mean that nothing stays the same. Everything is different. Everything is new.

That, my blogger friends, is where I find myself relating to change.

...and I am not good with that kind of change.

I am moving to Florida. Different job. Different climate. Different living situation. Different friends. Different EVERYTHING!! I know that change is a part of life. Things change all the time. If we look around, we see that things rarely stay the same. Change is immanent. We change jobs, directions, decisions and occasionally our under ware. You would think that by now, we would not fear change. But fearing change is exactly my problem. I fear what I don't know.

Is that because I don't trust enough?

Is it because I am such a control-freak and need to be in control of my decisions?

Is it because I am afraid I will make a bad choice?

Is it because I am comfortable and can be complacent

without too many people noticing??? (...ouch)

Is it because I am afraid to hurt those that I love by my choice?

Stink... I think the answer is yes. Yes to all of them. But here is the thing, blogger buddies, I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7) Did you catch that? I need to hear it again.

God has NOT given me a spirit of fear

but of power

and of love

and of sound mind.

He has given me a spirit of power to overcome obstacles. Power to make decisions with His guidance. He has given me a spirit of love so that when I cry with friends that I am leaving, I can love them more and remember that I am just a phone call (or plane ride) away. He has given me a sound mind. Ha! Ha!.... I mean, yeah... a sound mind. He has given me clarity of thought and wise counsel to follow so I can be confident in my decision.

So where is this fear coming from? I think two places...

1. I think this move is a door that God has opened up and will be such an exciting blessing for me and for those around me. I think the enemy knows that and HE shaking in his skivvies!! He is afraid!! He is afraid that I may be more effective for the kingdom if I move. He is putting his fears onto me and, weak as am, he has succeeded in making me uncertain and fearful.

and

2. I have never done anything of this magnitude before. I think there is a healthy fear that I am dealing with too. The kind of fear that keeps sane people from robbing a bank, jumping out of a moving car ... or plane, for that matter. I think that a certain amount of fear helps to keep us making really stupid choices or not making hasty decisions.

So.... what am I saying?

I am moving to Florida, changing professions and changing my life. Am I nervous? Of course. Am I excited about the new opportunities? Absolutely! Am I so excited to finally live around my family? You bet you bottom dollar! (???what does that even mean??) I am so happy to be moving, sad to be leaving dear friends and anticipating new blessings from my God.

I have 4 words to end with....

Bring on the beach!!!

Ahhhhh the life...

Where's Beth!?!?!?!?!

Living in Fort Wayne has been great for the last 15 years but... I don't have family close at all. That being the case, I have adopted and been adopted by many friends whom I now consider family.

One of my favorite families is, what I would like to name, the First Family. The Baker family. This family has been such a wonderful blessing in my life. They have mostly moved on in the last years but I get to see them every once in a while. These moments are moments that I cherish .... and often find myself in side-splitting laughter. The 'Baker boys' were wee little ones (Literally! They were babies) when I first joined their family as a babysitter and now these boys are all shooting up like weeds...but much better looking!!! :) They have grown into amazing young men of God and I hope that my sweet nephews are even half of the cool that they are!!!

I have the best stories about these boys but nothing compares to the stories these boys tell. Today, while they were hangin' out with their awesome Aunt Bec, they had one of the funniest, weirdest, most amazing stories ever.

Here's the short of the story in bulleted form (as best I can remember):

* Bec and the boys head to the Friendly Fox for some breakfast.

* Black speedy dog darts out.

* Bakers chase dog for over 3 hours.....yes 3 hours... maybe it was more.

* realize that I saw (and briefly chased) same dog earlier that morning before work

* Meet new friends for life, Jamie & Dave -- who all become partners in crime/dogcatching

* kept chasing dog

* dog bites Jamie

* kept chasing dog

* Jamie hops in car and stranger (named Beth) also hops in car with Bakers to search for dog

* kept chasing dog

* call animal control and animal control and they say STOP chasing it

* went to the Fox for lunch

* animal control drives by

* dog walks by

* Bakers decide to continue to chase dog

* call Jamie & Dave (not Beth... not sure where she went, actually-- Bec left her in the dust)

* gain dog's trust because Dave stayed in car

* call owner

* happy ending.

I wish I could tell you the way they do. They are word masters and are soooo funny when they dish it up. I love them and miss them a lot. I bet Beth misses them too.

Thanks for letting me share Bloggerfriends!

Have a great night!

Off to the races!

So Aedan, Hilda, Krista and I took a walk to the park. It was so fun to see him walking by himself. Here is a video.... let's see if it works. :)

Cute, no? The slide was a ton a fun too. I gotta try to get the pictures somehow. :)

Home sweet home

This weekend, I have traveled to a place where everybody knows my name. Sweet home Chicago. (...and yes... everyone in Chicago knows my name. ...almost everyone)

On Friday, I took a tour of my dad's work. He works for AT&T and, boy o' boy! I am amazed! I think I have the smartest dad in the whole wide world! Trust me! If you ever took a tour of a building like that, you would think my dad is the smartest too. The cables, wires, boxes, shelves, circuits.... yeah... he's goooood.

After lunch with my mom, we got all artsy-fartsy and she helped me finish painting a picture that I have been working on for a while. I could not get the shading correct and she helped me out. "Oh... just put this here... tint this like this... bring this line like this!" ...she is so good! She's the smartest mom in the world too! (I'll post a picture when I get it done)

My nephew and the rest of the family (yes... in that order) are coming tonight or tomorrow for an early Easter. I love this place. ...I just wish mom was making turkey and stuffing. mmmmmm..... stuffing.........

Whoot! Whoot!!

Just gotta give it up to my awesome prayin' posse these last couple of days. I have some very big potential changes that have come up these last few days and have to make some biiiiiig decisions.

I heart my friends and family!!!

You guys are such a blessing!
Lub ya muchly!!!

Nostalgia sets in

So I was walking Hilda the yesterday and we stopped at the Taylor U -FW closed campus. As I was hitting the ball and watching Hilda fly across the field, I turned around and saw this sign.

A flood of memories rushed back into my consciousness and, like the sappy girl I am, I got a little choked up. I had such great memories at this place. Here are a few:

• Midnight soccer- turning on our car lights to light up the field. Loved it because the best part was how we played until there was only one or two cars with their lights on. It was a battery cable jumping party at 2:00 in the morning!
• Praise/Prayer in Hausser- I remember that when a situation would come up (or sometimes just because we were not doing anything) we would spontaneously group together, light the fire and have a worship time in Hausser. Loved it!!!
• Breaking in to Founders to eat bagels and cereal because we worked during dinner hours and we were broke and couldn't afford to go out and almost getting caught and running back to Shultz and people thinking it was the boys that did it... heeheeheehee! (Hey! Girls can scale wall too, you know!)
• Shooting the girls in my wing with a super-soaker because they didn't show up for bible study. Knock! Knock! BLAST!!!! "...are you coming to bible study now?" I was a great RA!!!
• Standing on the toilets and singing with Ang. She was waaaaaaay better than I was but.... as long as the boys didn't hear... LOL!!
• Hockey games at Founders. Love hockey!
• Making mud men at night on the soccer field board after dancing in the rain then almost getting caught by administration because it was a weekend when people came to see TUFW. What? I don't see dried, bright, mud people on that purple board across the field!
• The summer at Winchester with Debby and Christy.... no... I won't sing the song here.
• Spring break at my house with Matty and the girls
• Getting to go to chapel to worship with my friends 3 times a week. Wouldn't that be nice now?

Ahhhh, college. I miss you Tuff W.