GPS

Being new to Florida, Curtis and Amanda got me a Tom-Tom. It's been fun finding places on this thing. I have always been pretty good with directions but in a new state where I can barely figure out which way is north yet..... It's been awesome having this!

Now, I know this is a moo point (you know... it doesn't really matter....like a cows opinion doesn't really matter) but I wanted to tell you that, after much persuading from friends and FRIENDS.... I have named my Tom Tom. ...and no, I have not named it Tom. Her name is Princess Consuela. It really is a great name!! When the Princess says turn right--- you have to do it! She's the princess!

Marketer Me

What kind of shoes do you like?
Where would you most likely go on vacation?
Who would you believe more: Brittney or Paris?
What would make you want to eat this more?

Welcome to the world of marketing!

This is one thing that I never thought I would be a part of. Me? Trying to get you to buy something? Nu-uh. Not in a million years!

I guess time flies when you're having fun!

Now, after 10 years of teaching, I find myself in at the buisness end of buisness. The 'how do we get people to want what we have' end. It's facinating and yet so foreign to me. Gimme a kid who doesn't know how to read and BANG! I'll teach him to read. Ask me to try to sell something to you?????? ...........yeah...............

I am learning so much about the concept of 'want vs. need'. Now, make no mistake I am an expert in what I need verses what I want..... I NEEDed that really expensive necklace, NEEDed that vacation, NEEDed that new iPod and totally NEEDed that cheeseburger. I WANT to do my laundry. I WANT to go to the gym. I WANT to do the dishes in the sink. See.... I totally am an expert in the need vs. want area. What I am realizing is that I have to figure out how to be an expert in what YOU want and need.

Thankfully, the company doesn't depend on me for marketing. I'm more of the 'manage the data' part of the company but after sending my ideas to the big guy.... (Insert nail biting noise here). It's fun. It's different. It's..... time for me to get back to work......

Copy Cai

So, I have been teaching my little nephew, Micaiah, some new things I am sure his mother is so very grateful for.

I taught him how to smack his forehead and say, "Doh!" ... everyone needs a little Homer...

I taught him how to do squinty-eyes and wide-eyes. (Oh man... It's hi-larious!)

I taught him how to master the the 'Cheers!' and the 'clink!' that comes after it. (I think his mom started that one....)

And best of all... I am teaching him how to feed my dog. Everyday, I go over to the baker's cart and pull Hilda's bowl out with my foot. (Who wants to touch a slimy dog bowl? Not me!) Then I get the cup and pour the food in the bowl. I say 'ok' and Hilda comes to eat. Then, when she is done, I push the bowl back under the cart and wash my hands.

Oh Micaiah.... he is sooooo funny!
The other day I asked him if he wanted to feed Hilda.
He went over to the cart, stuck his little foot under the cart,
and pulled out her bowl....with his foot.
Then he walked over to the bag and waited for me to give
him the food, took it to her dish and poured it in. (We are still
working on putting the cup back but... it's coming) When she is done,
he pushes the bowl back under the cart and goes to the
sink with me to wash his hands.
He is so advanced!

You know... I never told him to get the bowl out with his foot.
I never told him to push the bowl back under.
He just did it.
Because he saw me do it.
I absolutely love that....and I'm terrified of it at the same time.

He learns so fast! What an influence I am for this little life!

In his short little life so far, he has had to learn EVERYTHING! Walking, talking (soon), how to pick something up, what not to touch, how to dance (even though he is totally BFABB! ... born from a boom box!), how to use a spoon, what no means, what 'I love you' means, what food he likes and dislikes, what a dog is, how to ask for more.... I think you get the picture. But have you thought about babies before like that? They are like an empty canvass waiting to have a colorful and vibrant life.

And I influence that.

Do I give him bright colors for his canvass? What if I splash grey hues his way? When he watches me, what does he see and paint in that growing mind? What an awesome responsibility I have.
It makes me think, and rethink about everything I do. It makes me think about how, just like Cai is copying the tiny details like moving the dog bowl with his foot---that is how I should be copying Jesus. Down to the last detail.

Lord, I pray that I would be an example for my nephews that makes you proud. I pray that they would imitate me as I strive to imitate you. May my life reflect you so that when my nephews do what I do....they do what YOU do.

Shadows

Did you ever stop and think about a shadow?

Think about it. A shadow can be a protection. We stand in the shadows in the hot summer to avoid the oppressive sun and heat. A shadow can help lead the way and show where to step next. A shadow can hide you so that you aren't seen as well.

________________________________

As kids, being the oldest child in our family, I was usually the one to be "First". First to walk, first to go to school, first to drive, first to graduate, first to go to college... you know, typical older sibling stuff. By nature I am independent and proud of it. :)

For the past 15 years I have lived at least 4 hours from my nearest family member. But, I was the first to move out, the first to make it on my own, the first to begin my career.

Now I have moved to Florida.

It's exciting! I have a new job and I will be living with my sister and then, when my house sells, I will rent some where close by. I am soooooo very excited to be here! My new job is becoming more and more exciting as I learn about my roles and responsibilities. It brings new challenges, new possibilities, and new people. I am so excited.

So, in all this change, I think about how I have lived my life. I think about growing up and remember how my siblings lived in the shadow I cast. Because I did something right, my parents were more apt to trust them. Because I messed up, they didn't make the same mistake on the rest. Well, since moving down here I feel a little like roles have changed. My sister, who I feel like lived somewhat in my shadow because of our family placement and how independent I have always been.... now seems to be the one casting the shadow on me.

It's a new place for me. It's a good place for me.

I am being welcomed into a community where instead of leading the way like I usually do---my sister already has established deep, meaningful, Godly relationships. She has a strong connection of friends. She has husband and son who are amazing. She has a job that, may just be the coolest job ever. She is the one who is settled here and lives here. I am the newbie. I see that I am now living, somewhat in her shadow. It is kinda cool!

I still sometimes view Amanda (and Krista and Grant) as my little sisters and brother. I know they are old and all grown up (smile!) but I still like to think I helped motivate them, encouraged them and blazed a trail, however minute, for them. I cast a shadow for them.

I guess, as I think about it, among my siblings, I may have been a shadow caster for them. But in life, Oh how I have lived in the shadows of so many!

I have taught with amazing teachers over the years who have cast shadows.

I have worked with dedicated co-workers who have cast shadows.

I have served with gracious brothers and sisters in Christ who have cast shadows.

I have done life with incredible friends who have cast shadows.

I went to school with visionary classmates who have cast shadows.

I was raised with God-honoring parents who cast shadows.

I have loving siblings who have cast shadows.

My prayer for you is that in your life, you have had, and still have those who cast shadows for you. Shadows that encourage, protect and enable you to live a full life.

Oh where to start.....?!?!

After "The Great Hiatus"... I am back!

I have moved, settled in and started my job last week. I am learning so much about my family, my friends, my job, my God and myself.

When we leave college, we expect things to be new. We expect to meet with new everything. After being a career that I loved for so long, experiencing that again seems weird. I feel like I should be up drinking Mountain Dew until 4 in the morning and studying for exams! I feel 21 again!! ...correction. My MIND feels 21 but my body.... doesn't. :)

I have loved these last few weeks getting to know my sister and bro-in-law better. I have LOVED hanging out with my sweet nephew...even when he's not sweet. (that includes behavior AND diaper) I have enjoyed stretching myself beyond what I have come to know as comfortable.

It's good.

I have so many thoughts about these last weeks. I think I will not put them all in one post but will share snip-its and glimpses of what goes on in the attic I call my brain. I hope you enjoy!!

The end of an era

Today it is all starting to hit me. I am moving to Florida. I will have to pay money to see these friends here in Fort Wayne from now on! ....or they will have to pay money to see me...

Whoa.

For such a time as this

As I get ready to leave the profession I have studied about, worked out, cried during and laughed about, learned in, stressed over, grew because of, and loved for the last 10 years,....

I wonder.... did I make a difference?

I know that God puts us where he needs us for the time that he chooses. I believe that He placed me at my school for such a time as... as what I just finished.

I have to think....

Did I make Him smile with what I time I had here? Did I do my best? Did I make Him proud? Did I show His love to my students, my coworkers, my kids' parents and my bosses? Did I complain too much? Did I help to make His plans work or did He have to make a new one because I chose to follow my 'brilliant' idea....which most likely, ended up not being brilliant? Was I someone who made a difference? Was my time at school a blessing for others?

I sure hope so. I have learned so much. So much about myself, my God, how I am wired to do and what I am wired NOT to do. Ha! Ha! I am going to miss not working with my kiddos but maybe there is a new group of kids. For such a time....

The funny thing is that I NEVER thought I would leave teaching. I think others are surprised too! But I feel a peace about leaving. About changing professions. About the move. I always imagined myself one of those teachers that people talk about like... "She has been teaching for HOW MANY YEARS!? She is crazy!!!" You know the one who has 18 million books, reproducibles, posters from half a decade ago, and 43 million absoluetly hilarious stories. Yup. That's who I thought I would end up being. But apparently, God has bigger and better things. That's kind of exciting?!?! No?

I'm moving to Florida!

So... I have news. After much thinking, praying, talking, crying, smiling and preparation--- I have decided to move to Florida! It's kind of an amazing story of how this all happened. ...and still happening!

What?!?!?!

You want to hear the story?

Well.... twist my arm why don'tcha

...OUCH!!

OK! OK!!

Ha! Ha!

Are you comfy? Good.

So this story's beginning is a little fuzzy. I am not sure when exactly I began to want to move to Florida. It may have been when my sister, Amanda, moved down to her hubby's old stompin' ground. Yes, I believe that was it. When Curtis and Amanda moved to Florida, I think that is the first time moving out of Fort Wayne, Indiana seemed like a good idea.

I had moved to Fort Wayne, IN when I was in college. I went to Taylor University Fort Wayne and LOVED every minute! I made awesome friends, great memories and ultimately found a new place to live. Along with an awesome job, an amazing church and cool roommates... I found friends that became my family. The hardest thing about living in Fort Wayne that my nearest family member was over 3 hours away. I know, I know... you may be thinking that it was a blessing! And, granted... there were probably times when I was thankful family couldn't just pop in but... 99.9% of the time--- I missed them terribly.

Fast forward to this school year. I'm not gonna lie... this year has been the most difficult in my teaching career. I don't do well with change (as you noted on my previous post) and this year was full of it. New principal, new expectations, new changes I hadn't anticipated... It all seemed soooooo different. I wasn't on a 'team' at school because I was the only one doing what I was doing in the building so--- I couldn't bounce ideas off, have help finding lessons...you know collaborating like I had in the past. That was difficult for me. Then I found out, that our whole school was changing how they did things and that everyone was surplussed. (We had to reinterview for our jobs.) ACK!! Change again!!

Fast forward again, to about a month ago. I had been out with friends and celebrating a birthday when my sister calls and tells me that there is a possible job opening and would I consider it. Whoa! Hold your horses!!!! Me move to Florida?!?!? Uh... I gotta think and pray about that! ... so that is what I did.

I fasted and prayed (along with my awesome prayin' posse...see post below) and felt like God was opening the door for me to at least find out about this new change. I mean... everything was changing anyway so... why not find out about this new possibility?!?!

Over spring break I interviewed then accepted the position of Student Data Coordinator with A+ Tutor U. The job is working with tutors, getting reports completed and making sure deadlines are met. I won't be working with kids or teaching. I know... shocking!!! I will be working from home and setting my hours so that I can get my work done. I am excited about the job, lovin' the people I will be working with, pumped about living close to my family (ok.. specifically my sweet nephew Cai) and, surprise of all surprises... looking forward to the change.

I love and feel very peaceful about the decision I have made. But it will be soooo hard!! I have dear, dear friends that I will have to leave. I won't see them on a daily/weekly basis. It's true, we have facebook, twitter, email, Skype and all kinds of technology to keep us connected but ..... there is nothing like sitting on a couch laughing about Arrested Development or The Office, crying with each other as we share family heartaches, taking a 20 minute walk that ends up being 2 hours, floating on a raft in the middle of snake infested waters, making crazy home-made gifts to trade at Christmas, hiding from kids at camp.... you know those things that are irreplaceable and impossible to do connected to a computer.

I know I will make new memories and have new experiences. I will build on to the relationships that I have already started and form new ones. What an adventure this will be... what an adventure.

Who moved my cheese.... I mean changed my cheese?

Change. It's a curious thing, no?

I mean if you think about it, there really is so much meaning packed into those 6 letters.

It can mean that you have given someone money and they, in turn have given you less money back. ...ok....less money and a new pair of shoes but... less money is what we are focusing on. ...but I do love a new pair of kicks!

It can mean a new hairdo, a different look, a new you! Love that idea... speaking of hair...I have to call to my hairdresser!

It can mean that nothing stays the same. Everything is different. Everything is new.

That, my blogger friends, is where I find myself relating to change.

...and I am not good with that kind of change.

I am moving to Florida. Different job. Different climate. Different living situation. Different friends. Different EVERYTHING!! I know that change is a part of life. Things change all the time. If we look around, we see that things rarely stay the same. Change is immanent. We change jobs, directions, decisions and occasionally our under ware. You would think that by now, we would not fear change. But fearing change is exactly my problem. I fear what I don't know.

Is that because I don't trust enough?

Is it because I am such a control-freak and need to be in control of my decisions?

Is it because I am afraid I will make a bad choice?

Is it because I am comfortable and can be complacent

without too many people noticing??? (...ouch)

Is it because I am afraid to hurt those that I love by my choice?

Stink... I think the answer is yes. Yes to all of them. But here is the thing, blogger buddies, I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7) Did you catch that? I need to hear it again.

God has NOT given me a spirit of fear

but of power

and of love

and of sound mind.

He has given me a spirit of power to overcome obstacles. Power to make decisions with His guidance. He has given me a spirit of love so that when I cry with friends that I am leaving, I can love them more and remember that I am just a phone call (or plane ride) away. He has given me a sound mind. Ha! Ha!.... I mean, yeah... a sound mind. He has given me clarity of thought and wise counsel to follow so I can be confident in my decision.

So where is this fear coming from? I think two places...

1. I think this move is a door that God has opened up and will be such an exciting blessing for me and for those around me. I think the enemy knows that and HE shaking in his skivvies!! He is afraid!! He is afraid that I may be more effective for the kingdom if I move. He is putting his fears onto me and, weak as am, he has succeeded in making me uncertain and fearful.

and

2. I have never done anything of this magnitude before. I think there is a healthy fear that I am dealing with too. The kind of fear that keeps sane people from robbing a bank, jumping out of a moving car ... or plane, for that matter. I think that a certain amount of fear helps to keep us making really stupid choices or not making hasty decisions.

So.... what am I saying?

I am moving to Florida, changing professions and changing my life. Am I nervous? Of course. Am I excited about the new opportunities? Absolutely! Am I so excited to finally live around my family? You bet you bottom dollar! (???what does that even mean??) I am so happy to be moving, sad to be leaving dear friends and anticipating new blessings from my God.

I have 4 words to end with....

Bring on the beach!!!

Ahhhhh the life...